


Duncan Donuts: A Dunkeiel Ship Fic

by EarthmanNoEarth



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthmanNoEarth/pseuds/EarthmanNoEarth
Summary: Ezekiel meets the handsome Duncan, who works at a coffee shop. Finding out he has a jerky girlfriend named Gwen, Ezekiel must save Duncan from Gwen (and maybe even fall in love with him).
Relationships: Duncan/Ezekiel (Total Drama)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 4





	1. Peas and Mayo Coffee

Ezekiel finally reached the front of the line at the coffee shop. The barista was new, a hot punk boy with a green mohawk. The barista was bored looking, and quickly rushed through his dialogue, “Welcome to Duncan Donuts? What shall I dunk in your donuts?” 

“I’ll have a peas and mayo coffee.”

“Wow!” the barista was astonished, “No one’s ever asked for a peas and mayo coffee before! I thought I was the only one!” 

“The only one?” Ezekiel giggled, “You mean the only one who appreciates a good peas and mayo coffee? Of course you aren’t!” Ezekiel received his peas and mayo coffee and went along with his day. By the end of the day, even the last pea had been sucked up into his mouth. However, after work he realized that he had a rumbling in his tummy. He was hungry, and a muffin from the coffee shop could fix that. 

Once again, the green haired barista was there. Instead of being at the counter, though, he was sitting at a table. A goth girl was sitting across from him. As Ezekiel waited for his bone marrow muffin, he could hear them talking. “But Dunkie!” He heard the girl cry, “You said you would go to the concert with me!” 

“I’m sorry Gwen,” ‘Dunkie’ defended himself, “The new Z-Box console is dropping that night and Trent and I made plans to get it.” 

“DUNCAN!” Gwen whined, “This concert is important to me! We have to go!” 

Duncan rubbed his neck nervously, “But I really wanted to-“

“DUNKIIIIIIIEEEEE!”

“Fine,” Duncan sighed, “Maybe Cody will be able to go with Trent.” 

“Thank you Dunkie!” Gwen gave him a quick peck on the cheek before running out the door. Ezekiel got his muffin and approached Duncan. “How’re you doing?” 

Duncan nodded at Ezekiel, “A peas and mayo coffee will make it better.” 

“That your girlfriend.” 

Duncan sighed and let his shoulders drop, “How’d you tell?” 

“I mean it was pretty obvious considering-“

“That was a joke.” Duncan pushed the chair opposite of him out and Ezekiel took that as a sign and took a seat. He took a bite of his muffin, “Mmmm, bone marrow muffin.” 

Duncan lit up, “You like bone marrow muffins? That’s so cool! I’m allergic to bone marrow, but I wish I wasn’t.” 

“If I had to choose all I would would be bone marrow.” 

“Me too, dude. Me too.” They both enjoyed their treats respectively. At last, Duncan got up and left, “I need to get ready for the concert.” Ezekiel watched as he left, and a smile spread across his face.


	2. Very Pretty Courtney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While at college, Ezekiel meets a very pretty girl and asks her on a date

Ezekiel arrived at his very first day of college a few days later. He and his friends Dave and Jose had a class together, so found a seat next to them. “Wow!” Dave commented as one of the other students walked in, “Look at the badonkadonks on that girl!” He was right, that girl did have badonkadonks. But Ezekiel has his eyes on a different girl, who had sat down a few rows in front of them. She had short brown hair and ambiguously brown skin. “Hey,” he asked Dave, “Do you know who that girl is?” he pointed to the girl in question. 

Dave responded, “I don’t know, but she really doesn’t have any badonkadonks!” 

Jose supplied a better explanation, “Say hello to her, yet be polite. Women such as her require a gentle approach. If you wish to ask her out, do so subtly. Invite her and some friends to go to a party or a movie with you and some of your friends. Indulge yourself, have some fun.” 

“Wow thanks!” Ezekiel grinned, “You guys are great friends!” He shimmied on down a couple rows and held his hand out for the ambiguously brown woman to shake. “Howdy!” he said, “My name is Ezekiel!” 

She shook her hand, “Greetings! My name is Courtney. I’m here to get the economy credit for my law degree.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you!” Ezekiel enthusiastically shook her hand. “Hey, uh,” he took a chance, “Some friends and I were going to go see the fifth Mega-Warriors Fight the Evil Zorgoth movie and I was wondering if you and a couple of your friends wanted to come.” 

Courtney nodded excitedly, “I love those movies! I will bring some friends and see that movie with you. Is Wednesday good?” 

Ezekiel agreed, “Wednesday is good!” 

“Then I will see you Wednesday.” Unfortunately, before they could talk more, the teacher, Professor McLean, arrived and the students, knowing that class was about to start, scurried back to their seats, where they were sitting. While Professor McLean was talking, Dave sent Ezekiel an email. Opening it, Ezekiel saw that it read, “You could probably find a girl with bigger badonkadonks 0w0. 

Ignoring the objectification that Dave often injected into his discussions over women, Ezekiel replied, “But would I want a girl with bigger badonkadonks? Courtney seems nice and I hope to get to know her better on our date UwU.” 

Jose emailed Ezekiel separately, “I am proud of you for taking a chance and successfully asking a girl out. This is a big show of confidence for you and I hope to see more in the future OwO.” Ezekiel decided that Jose’s message was nicer than Dave’s. 

After his classes that day, Ezekiel went to Duncan Donuts, figuring he would have another bone marrow muffin. However, something big waited that even he didn’t know about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry my Dunkiel fans, Ezekiel x Courtney is a misdirect while the true ship develops in the background.


	3. When the Peas are Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezekiel visits the coffee shop again

Duncan was again working the counter, and was very glum. Ezekiel noticed and asked, “Why are you so sad? There are flowers everywhere in the world! Look at them and be happy.” 

Duncan shook his head, “My girlfriend Gwen made me cancel on some of my friends so I could go to a concert with her. Now she doesn’t want to go to the concert anymore and I have nothing to do tonight.” 

Ezekiel rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Isn’t the new Z-Box releasing tonight? You could go to the store and get it.” 

Duncan shook his head, “Those things are never fun if you go alone. And Trent and Cody think I’m not going, so it would be embarrassing for me to tell them I’m going now. I guess I’ll stay home and watch Power Rangers and wear my Power Rangers jammies.” 

Ezekiel rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “I’ve always wanted to get one of those fancy Z-Box things. Maybe we could go to the store together tonight. That way we BOTH have something to do.” 

Duncan nodded, “Alright! Sounds like a deal!” Ezekiel took his lead and mayo coffee and sat down. At that moment he received a text from Courtney, the girl he had asked on a date earlier during his college class. It read, “Are you still up to see the fifth Ultra-Warriors Fight the Evil Zorgoth movie this Wednesday. My friends Gwen and Bridgette are coming.” 

Ezekiel thoughtfully typed a reply, “I’ll bring my friends Dave and Jose with me! We will watch the movie and have a good time.” Wait a second! He realized that Courtney was friends with Duncan’s girlfriend Gwen. A strange and remarkable coincidence indeed. Another strange and remarkable coincidence occurred when Gwen herself entered the coffee shop and approached Duncan. “DUNKIIIIIIEEEEE!” she squealed, “I changed my mind. I’m still gonna go to the concert.” 

Duncan rubbed his neck sheepishly, “I actually made plans tonight to go to the release of the new Z-Box with a friend. You’re gonna have to find someone else to go to the concert with me.”

Gwen sniffled angrily, “FINE THEN! Have it your way. I’ll bring Courtney to the concert with me. At least she likes to go to things with me.” 

“I like to go to things with you!” Duncan pleaded, “I just can’t when I already have plans.” But Gwen was already out the door. Ezekiel received a text from Dave that read, “Girls really do be having badonkadonks, huh.”


	4. Gamer Store for Gamers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan and Ezekiel go to the gamer store together

Duncan and Ezekiel were standing outside of the gamer store in the cold. Ezekiel shivered because he was only wearing one sweater and it was cold. “Boy, it sure is cold,” Ezekiel said. 

“Indeed it is really cold,” Duncan replied. They moved up a bit more in line; they were almost to the front. 

“So how did you meet your girlfriend, Gwen?” Ezekiel asked. 

Duncan stroked his chin in deep thought, “It was after I broke up with my last girlfriend, Sadie. Gwen was there for me and helped me. She’s a very kind and loving girlfriend.” 

“Wow, that’s not at all like she seems!” Ezekiel was dumbstruck, and also dumb. 

“I know,” Duncan placed a hand on his heart, “She just seems that way, in reality she’s a loving and kind girlfriend. 

“If you say so,” Ezekiel shrugged. At last they reached the front of the line and were ushered into the store. They quickly made a beeline for the z-boxes, and each grabbed one. “We’re gonna be real epic gamers with these,” Ezekiel remarked. 

“Indeed,” Duncan nodded. They took their merchandise to the cashier and paid for it. They were not shoplifters. After that, they walked out the doors and left the store. 

“This was really fun, Duncan,” Ezekiel stated while giving Duncan a no-homo pat on the back, “I hope we can hang out some more some time.” 

“That sounds like a good idea, Ezekiel,” Duncan said, “This was a lot of fun. I wouldn’t have had this much fun if I went to that concert with Gwen.” 

“I bet you wouldn’t have,” Ezekiel nodded. 

“I wouldn’t have. Do you want to go to my house and play some epic games on my new z-box, Ezekiel?” 

“Boy howdy I sure would!” Duncan led Ezekiel back to his car and got in the driver’s seat while Ezekiel got in the passenger's seat. As Duncan drove away, Ezekiel received a text from his friend Dave. “Help, Ezekiel, I sewed myself into a pair of pants!”

X

While Duncan and Ezekiel were driving away, someone else was watching them and taking pictures while talking with someone on the phone. “Yes, they’re driving away now…..I know they came here in separate cars and left together; how are they going to get the other car?......You better have my money.” After that, they hung up. Ever so quietly, they snuck over to where Ezekiel’s car was parked and glanced in the window. “Aha, jackpot!” They took a picture of something. “All in a day’s work for private investigator Noah Smith.”

**Author's Note:**

> What do you want to see from this series? Who should be Ezekiel’s faux romantic interest that obviously isn’t endgame? Pwease leave kudos and comments uwu!


End file.
